A lesson I learned the hard way that has shaped the person I am today is this injury of being shot in the head. I have learned not to trust just anybody, especially with my life. If they want to do dangerous things just let them do them, without me being present because I already got shot in the head and have a disability. I walk with a gimp. My left arm doesn’t work right. I don’t need to be more disabled. I use abstract thinking which asks the question, what if, which is important because this will save my life. What if, we get caught by the police, what if one of us ends up more hurt or dead. So it is an important question to ask. If I want to live or stay out of trouble. This will save me from following someone into trouble. Now, I am past this stage. I just run from people that want me to do bad things. I am really disabled so I don’t think they would want me tagging along, which is good because I would like to keep out of trouble and be my own man and do what I want to do, which is not get into trouble.
A word people use a lot is clingy, which can be bad if that person is always around and the other person doesn’t want them around, but if the person doesn’t mind them around then it is a good thing. Clingy is only bad when the person is always around and never leaves. Then, you have a reason to get mad. When, the clingy person becomes furniture that is when the problem emerges, but it depends on the person who the clingy person is clinging onto. If they are all right with them no problem at all. Thank you for reading.
Shot in the head 
We’ve been following each other for a short time thus far but I must say I appreciate your clarity and honesty! If I share my time management techniques as a cleric maybe it’ll give you some good ideas?
1. Surge Attention. In these circumstances I set aside all other obligations and give that person as much attention as they need (or I am capable of). Usually lasts less than a week.
2. Structured Attention. In this case I make sure we have predictable but not scheduled good quality time together which often includes son sort of ritual (prayer/liturgy, coffee break, shopping, exercise, movie, etc.). Keeps the dialog flowing and shared experiences.
3. Scheduled Attention. Same time, same place. Intentional and less spontaneous but predictable.
4. Random Attention. a just ‘go with it’ time. Usually the most fun.
Interestingly enough all these apply to everyone. There is plenty of opportunity to switch it up as often a needed and wanted. So… for your part, evaluate which of these types you use, prefer, and which feel ‘more right’ than others (visa v clingy)?
I am sure you will find freedom in restructuring the time with others but this type of intentionality. They’ll feel more important, you’ll feel more contented and everyone is happier 🙂
Wishing you every good blessing!
Deacon Gerry
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Thank you these are great recommendations. I just said clingy because many people around me use that word, clingy to refer to different people in their lives. I am more inclined to choose the second one, structured attention. Thanks again for the suggestions.
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remember too, you and I write not just for us but for those who read our exchanges. Well done!
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Yes definitely thank you 😊
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I agree with you about codependent people. It’s not an issue for them if the other person doesn’t mind. And yes, stay away from bad people!
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Yes that is definitely right and definitely stay away from bad people.
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