The past takes my thoughts

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

In this blog, I will discuss whether I spend more time thinking of the past or more time thinking of the future.

Well the past affected everything in my life. I am disabled because of the past. So, I spend more time thinking about the past. I think about how I will make this life work. I think about how I am going to turn an awful injury into a blessing. There has to be a way to turn this injury into something that can be useful to others.

Whether they have been shot in the head or not, the information I can discuss with them can help a lot. Not too many people have been shot in the head and live to talk about it. So the information can be useful.

Most people focus on the future. It is hard for me to focus on the future when I cannot use half my body. I will not give up on life because I know there has to be a purpose for this injury. Even though, things are hard. If I can make it easier for others living with a similar injury. I will do that. I do have a bachelor’s in social work. I just need to find my niche and make it work out for me.

In conclusion- I spend more time thinking of the past because of my injury (shot in the head). Thank you for reading.

Going out on a limb

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

In this blog, I will discuss what is the greatest gift someone can give me. Well, I have been disabled for about 37 years and it is very challenging to be disabled. Life doesn’t come easy to those who have any type of impairment, especially if the limbs do not function correctly.

So for this question, I am going to say make me physically normal again, so life will not be so challenging. That means I would like my dominant left arm back and a normal left leg back. For goodness sake, bring back my memory. I forget everything. If my head was not screwed on, I would forget that too. So that would be the greatest gift someone could give me.

I know this is only a question. I will probably have to live my whole life disabled. People have told me my injury is too old, so there is little anyone can do for me. It is really discouraging and confusing why no one has come up with a cure to paralysis for older injuries. Thank you for reading.

Colleges for higher learning

What colleges have you attended?

In this blog, I will discuss which colleges I attended back in the past.

I attended Pina Community College back in the 1990s. It was a groovy time, before computers took over the whole college campus. When I was in English class, I got to use my first computer and type my paperwork on it. The class was sort of the same thing as jetpack. The teacher would give us a question to write about and we wrote about it. It was a very good class.

I graduated from Puma College with two Assistant degrees. One in Social Services and the other in Social Services working with the youth in 1999.

Then, I went to Arizona State University and received my Bachelor’s degree in Social Work in 2002.

I went to the University of Arizona for electives, such as philosophy, which was awesome. I had a teacher from Australia teach the class. He was a great teacher. Thank you for reading.

Playtime is a great time!

Do you play in your daily life? What says “playtime” to you?

In this blog, I will answer the question, do I play in daily life? What says”playtime”to you.

I play my drums every night. I cannot play them too loud because I usually play them late at night. I have pads to muffle the noise so I can hit them without making too much noise. It is a great workout for me.

I also sing original songs while I am hitting my drums. Such as “Burning fire.”

The memory

Of that night

I got shot in the head

Burns in sight

Should’ve been dead

But I live to fight another day

As the anger

Ignites in my mind
burning fire it’ll never die til I’m dead burning fire

Sparks fly anger ignites

Burned by that night

Flaming torches soar high

Scorching smoke rises to the sky

Burning fire it’ll never die til I’m dead til I’m dead

Burning fire

Devastation of life

Falling over in the fire

For nothing
But the aching hate

In his mind
Burning fire Burning fire it’ll never die til I’m dead

Well writing on jetpack is something else I do for play. It is always interesting the questions they ask. Most are intriguing. It is a fun way to express myself.

In conclusion, I drum for play and sing original songs such as “Burning fire,” and I write on Jetpack which is fun and playtime too. Thank you for reading.

Disability challenges

What are your biggest challenges?

Everyone has challenges, such as disability, financial, social, educational, unemployment, mentally, etc. There are a lot more than I named, but my biggest challenge is my disability.

My disability affects everything I do. The way people see me. The job I can get. How much money I make. Since, I use one arm and walk with a limp, it is very easy to get looked over for some good opportunities. I still attempt to live through all that life has to offer me. I do not plan to give up on life; even though it gets hard because I still am living. I need to make the most of this life. Even though it is hard to be disabled. I have no plans to give up on life.

My depression is sometimes hard to handle. I have problems getting out of bed. I get up by eating an apple and drinking coffee, but the yogurt puts me back to sleep. That is another challenge of mine. Eating yogurt and going back to sleep. I probably need to drink more water and less caffeine.

I am depressed because I did not get any justice for this injury (shot in the head). My family let my cousin get away with shooting me in the head. I am pissed off, the cousin walks around like he did nothing wrong. He is like a cockroach in hiding. I don’t know where he is and my family keeps us apart. They think I will go ballistic on him, which I might because I don’t like being disabled.

My other challenge is finances. I am in a lot of debt. I have a degree, but since I am disabled it is hard for me to utilize it. Some people are afraid to hire me, when they see me walk in with a limp. One of these days, I will get a job with my degree, I just got to keep trying. I cannot give up on my degree. The challenges are all too real. Thank you for reading.

Nostalgic feeling

What makes you feel nostalgic?

In this blog I will discuss what makes me nostalgic. All sorts of things such as just thinking about my life at 12 years old and how much easier my life was back then. I was physically normal back then. How things certainly change sometimes for the worse. Just because the cousin was playing with a gun it went off and shot me in the head. I never recovered from that.

My friends on here never take your physical normalizy for granted because you could be disabled in an instant. Just thank the Lord you are not.

Another thing that makes me nostalgic is music. Especially, the Who’s song “Bargain.” That song was a big hit in the 1970s. When that particular song comes on. I think of my grandma’s house. I am sitting on the couch in the living room. The sun is shining very bright in the living room. It is almost time for the sun to set. It brings me back to a time that I cherish, when my grandparents were alive. God rest their souls. Thank you for reading.

On the positive side.

What relationships have a positive impact on you?

In this blog I will talk about relationships that have a positive impact on me. I have lots of relationships with all sorts of people and things, let’s take a look.

My sister is my rock relationship. She is very special to me. We do a lot of stuff together, such as eat together, do Doordash together, watch shows together. Life without her, would be very bland. She is awesome.

My relationship with my family, such as my aunt Gracie and my uncle Frankie and their children. That is very special too because I can always call them and that, cheers me up.

My friends relationship. I have some good friends, such as Engel, Matt, Chase. They are there when I need them. Whenever I need someone to play music with me, they are there. They are cool that way.

The relationship with my drum set is a very strong relationship because when I am feeling down. I can bang on my drum set and feel better. It is that simple. Just the act of hitting the drums makes me feel better and less angry. It works every time.

The relationship I have with my music, such as Two pac and Rick James. This music gets me going so I can be more productive and cheers me up too because when I am listening to music. I don’t have to think of my problems, which is good.

The relationships I have with movies and shows are a true escape from reality, such as the Chi and Shameless or even Blade Runner. These shows and movies are truly a way for me to escape this world and enter the world of the show or movie.

My work relationship, it is where I can be more productive and make money so I can support myself, which is awesome.

In conclusion-the relationships I have may be many, but for me they are necessary to live the life I want to live. Thank you for reading.

Tucson’s football team

If you started a sports team, what would the colors and mascot be?

In this blog, I am going to talk about what colors and mascot would be, if I started a sports team. I would make the idea stand out.

First off, they would have to play football because I like football a lot. Maybe a national team because Tucson doesn’t have a team for the NFL or the national football league.

They would be called the Tucson Bumblebee’s and the mascot would be a bumblebee. The colors would be black and yellow. They are the bumblebee’s because they sting the other players of the other team, with their great defense and offense, which makes them stand out.

In conclusion-the colors and the mascot of the sports team I invented would be black and yellow and the mascot would be a bumblebee. Thank you for reading.

Democrat to Independent

How have your political views changed over time?

In this blog, I will discuss how my political views have changed over time. Surely, they have changed.

In 2020, I supported Joe Biden because he would do something about the COVID-19 crisis in the United States, more than Donald Trump. Donald Trump thought that it was a hoax at first, until many people died from it. That is why I supported Joe Biden.

Once, Joe Biden won the election gas prices started going up and then soon groceries went up. Soon, apartments in my area went from $600 to $700 to almost $900 for a studio apartment. That is insane. Inflation has really gone up throughout the years that Joe Biden has been in office.

It does not help that people from California have come here and bought real estate and that is why rents here are going through the roof. Also, with inflation, it has not helped. There are more homeless people here than ever and around the country. I thank God that I have a roof over my head everyday. It has been hard to live with everything so expensive.

People like me, wish we would have kept Trump in office because of the rising inflation. Sure, Trump has many legal problems but at least everything was not so expensive. Under his watch, gas was about $2 bucks a gallon, now it is $3.20. With Biden, illegal aliens are getting into the United States at a record high.

Now what Trump wants to do is secure the border of the United States and drill, drill, drill for oil.

I am an independent which means I can vote Republican or Democrat and I still don’t know who I am going to vote for. If inflation keeps going up, I might have to vote for Trump because Biden is too expensive. Thank you for reading.

Building a space for reading and writing.

You get to build your perfect space for reading and writing. What’s it like?

In this blog, I will talk about my perfect space to read and write. I am a simple man so it does not have to be extravagant, just a simple, quiet place where I can think and write and read.

To start with, it could be anywhere, as long as the room is quiet. Especially, it cannot be near dogs because they bark all the time. Maybe a secluded place, outside the city limits.

I have a desk along the wall and a computer on top of the desk, with a computer monitor, a mouse, and a printer. I also have a Word program so I can type on the computer. I also have a comfy desk chair and a smart phone if I want to look up articles to read really quickly. I have Cox internet for both the smartphone and the computer. So, I have access to Jetpack to write.

I have a stack of blank notebooks so I can write out the writings first on paper and pen. Then, transfer the writings to the computer. As long as there is no noise, I can read and write all day.

The important thing that I am missing is a coffee maker, to give me energy to write and make me hear words pop into my head and of course coffee. Thank you for reading.