Big grudge

Like I have said in many posts. I am disabled. I walk with a limp, and my left arm doesn’t function correctly because I was shot in the head when I was younger. The cousin that shot me in the head never went to prison or did not give me any money. He just got away with shooting me in the head. My family and relatives just shove the issue under the rug. So, yes, i hold a grudge. They could have helped me get justice, but they didn’t, which is sad.

Even back then, my step dad said their family didn’t have any money. Then, both of his parents die.

Then, a couple of months ago, he bought a house. He used the money he inherited from his parents to buy the house. He didn’t offer me any money. I asked him for money. He said he spent it all on the house. How convenient. I really think he wants to go to hell for what he did to me. I’m just saying. Thank you for reading.

On a lighter subject, look at the pretty sky.

Yes the year I received a bullet to my head.

I would like to go back to New Year’s 1988, and never go down to that river with the cousin that night because that night, ruined the life I was going to lead. My life, before the injury was far from perfect, but it was better than being shot in the head. At least, I had a functioning left arm and a fully functioning left leg. Plus, I could do more than I can do right now.

We went down there with two rifles and the gun he shot me with was in his pants. It was a 22 caliber and he could not find the right bullets so he used a 22 bullet, which is a smaller bullet for the gun. He proceeded to shoot me in the head.

Plus, if I could go back and relive the episode of pain. I would tell him no. I would not have to get justice because it would not have happened. Right now, I have no justice because in other posts. I have told people here he is in hiding. He doesn’t want to be found and my family is no help either. They just want me to forget about the injury, which is hard because it is part of me.

In conclusion, I would go back to the year of the injury and tell the cousin no and not go down to the river with him and those guns. Plus, if that was possible I could lead a physically abled life and just live without debt, and without pain. Thank you for reading.

My left arm is paralyzed. It doesn’t function normally.

Long awaiting for something to happen

What brings a tear of joy to your eye?

In this blog I will discuss, what brings a tear of joy to my eye? People have a lot of things that will bring a tear of joy to their eyes. Such as, a raise because more money always helps. Seeing their military husband or wife who was sent overseas for a long time and then they come back into their life. Even, seeing a favorite singer sing a song they like can bring a tear of joy or a good movie.

There is a song called “nutshell,” by Alice and Chains that made me cry because it is a very powerful song and it is very good. So sad, Lane Stanley the singer of Alice and Chains has died, due to heroin. There will probably be no one like him again. He was very original.

But, what would bring a tear of joy to my eye? I was shot in the head with a 22 magnum gun, with a 22 bullet. The cousin who shot me in the head and made me disabled, has not paid any consequences for his actions. My family pushed the injury under the carpet. Karma should work faster, but it has not and I do not know where he is, so I have to rely on God to get him. It would bring a tear of joy to my eye if karma would work and he got his for all the things he did to me. He takes no responsibility for what he did to me. Thank you for reading.

Justice is a long road

What do you complain about the most?

In this blog I will discuss what I complain about the most. It is a deep subject. Most know that I was shot in the head by a gun. This is my main focus of my complaining (my disability), but it is also because my family didn’t get me any justice.

They just let the cousin get away with shooting me in the head. That is what really pisses me off.

It is in the police report that I shot myself in the head, which I certainly didn’t. The cousin lied and said I shot myself in the head and got away with it. I don’t know what he was thinking, but he might have been scared to go to prison, which is definitely where he belongs. He committed attempted murder.

Since my family didn’t press any charges, this is what I complain a lot about.

So much time has passed ,that there is a statute of limitations on the injury and there is nothing I can do about it legally, but live with the disability.

I guess the United States learned from their mistakes. Now, if anyone shoots another person, they automatically go to prison, which is great. Unless the shooter can prove self-defense he/she will get off. I guess that is good too. People need to protect themselves from harm.

In conclusion, the source of my complaining is being shot in the head, which left me with a disability (my left arm doesn’t function and I walk with a gimp). Also my family did not get me any justice because the cousin said I shot myself in the head. Once, I woke up and told them, the cousin shot me in the head, nothing happened. They pushed it under the rug. For a long time, there has been a statute of limitations on the injury, which is messed up. So I guess they expect me to just live with the injury. I try my best. Thank you for reading.

The past takes my thoughts

Do you spend more time thinking about the future or the past? Why?

In this blog, I will discuss whether I spend more time thinking of the past or more time thinking of the future.

Well the past affected everything in my life. I am disabled because of the past. So, I spend more time thinking about the past. I think about how I will make this life work. I think about how I am going to turn an awful injury into a blessing. There has to be a way to turn this injury into something that can be useful to others.

Whether they have been shot in the head or not, the information I can discuss with them can help a lot. Not too many people have been shot in the head and live to talk about it. So the information can be useful.

Most people focus on the future. It is hard for me to focus on the future when I cannot use half my body. I will not give up on life because I know there has to be a purpose for this injury. Even though, things are hard. If I can make it easier for others living with a similar injury. I will do that. I do have a bachelor’s in social work. I just need to find my niche and make it work out for me.

In conclusion- I spend more time thinking of the past because of my injury (shot in the head). Thank you for reading.

Going out on a limb

What is the greatest gift someone could give you?

In this blog, I will discuss what is the greatest gift someone can give me. Well, I have been disabled for about 37 years and it is very challenging to be disabled. Life doesn’t come easy to those who have any type of impairment, especially if the limbs do not function correctly.

So for this question, I am going to say make me physically normal again, so life will not be so challenging. That means I would like my dominant left arm back and a normal left leg back. For goodness sake, bring back my memory. I forget everything. If my head was not screwed on, I would forget that too. So that would be the greatest gift someone could give me.

I know this is only a question. I will probably have to live my whole life disabled. People have told me my injury is too old, so there is little anyone can do for me. It is really discouraging and confusing why no one has come up with a cure to paralysis for older injuries. Thank you for reading.

Disability challenges

What are your biggest challenges?

Everyone has challenges, such as disability, financial, social, educational, unemployment, mentally, etc. There are a lot more than I named, but my biggest challenge is my disability.

My disability affects everything I do. The way people see me. The job I can get. How much money I make. Since, I use one arm and walk with a limp, it is very easy to get looked over for some good opportunities. I still attempt to live through all that life has to offer me. I do not plan to give up on life; even though it gets hard because I still am living. I need to make the most of this life. Even though it is hard to be disabled. I have no plans to give up on life.

My depression is sometimes hard to handle. I have problems getting out of bed. I get up by eating an apple and drinking coffee, but the yogurt puts me back to sleep. That is another challenge of mine. Eating yogurt and going back to sleep. I probably need to drink more water and less caffeine.

I am depressed because I did not get any justice for this injury (shot in the head). My family let my cousin get away with shooting me in the head. I am pissed off, the cousin walks around like he did nothing wrong. He is like a cockroach in hiding. I don’t know where he is and my family keeps us apart. They think I will go ballistic on him, which I might because I don’t like being disabled.

My other challenge is finances. I am in a lot of debt. I have a degree, but since I am disabled it is hard for me to utilize it. Some people are afraid to hire me, when they see me walk in with a limp. One of these days, I will get a job with my degree, I just got to keep trying. I cannot give up on my degree. The challenges are all too real. Thank you for reading.

Nostalgic feeling

What makes you feel nostalgic?

In this blog I will discuss what makes me nostalgic. All sorts of things such as just thinking about my life at 12 years old and how much easier my life was back then. I was physically normal back then. How things certainly change sometimes for the worse. Just because the cousin was playing with a gun it went off and shot me in the head. I never recovered from that.

My friends on here never take your physical normalizy for granted because you could be disabled in an instant. Just thank the Lord you are not.

Another thing that makes me nostalgic is music. Especially, the Who’s song “Bargain.” That song was a big hit in the 1970s. When that particular song comes on. I think of my grandma’s house. I am sitting on the couch in the living room. The sun is shining very bright in the living room. It is almost time for the sun to set. It brings me back to a time that I cherish, when my grandparents were alive. God rest their souls. Thank you for reading.

Let’s see

How are you creative?

In this blog I will discuss with you how I am creative. I am creative in a lot of ways, so here I go.

First off, I write and write lyrics in a note book. I keep writing those lyrics until they are in my head. So I don’t need my notebook to remember them.

I drum and play all sorts of shakers. I love drumming because it relieves my anger. It gives me a rush just hitting the drums

This is my drum set Darcy. She is a good friend of mine.

I sing too. I don’t have a great voice, but I can belt out original lyrics like no one’s business. I mostly sing about my pain and getting no justice from being shot in the head. They say what comes around goes around, let’s see if that is true in the near future.

Lastly, I write on Jetpack, which is very cool because they always ask, such interesting questions.

In conclusion-the way I am creative is that I write lyrics daily in a note book. I drum and play shakers. I sing too about my pain and sometimes women too. Lastly I write on Jetpack. Thank you for reading.

Judge of character

Are you a good judge of character?

Introduction- today I will discuss whether I am a good judge of character. A long time ago I was a crappy judge of character.

I used to hang around the guys in school who got into trouble. So even back then I used to have friends that got me into trouble. Around fourth grade I hung around this kid that got me in trouble. Nothing really bad, but just talking while the teacher was talking, not doing homework, things of that nature. He made me serve detention because of his bad decision making and mine. So I had a horrible time hanging around with good kids.

Thanks to the cousin I grew up with. We grew up around each other and I didn’t know he would turn into such a rotten egg. If I was smarter and knew he had bad vices. I should have run for the hills, then be his friend. He first started by getting me into trouble, starting fires, stealing mail, stealing from stores. Then either my dad would hear about it, or my grandpa would hear about it and slap me in the face. All of these ideas were his. He was a rotten guy. Until, I received a bullet in my head by him.

I think it was God trying to wake me up and say we need to get Jesse away from his cousin so this happened (bullet in the head). If I was still hanging out with the cousin, I would have done crystal meth and experimented with other drugs. I would have been a drug addict, which in a way this injury saved me from that life.

Now I consider myself a good judge of character because once I become older I do not put up with a lot of bull crap from people getting me into trouble. My hearing and sight maybe fading but the ability to smell bull crap got stronger.

In conclusion- when I was younger I was not a good judge of character, but now that I am older I am a better judge of character. I don’t put up with people bull crap. Thank you for reading.