I spend more time thinking of the past.

Even though, my gun shot wound to the head is depressing, I don’t want it to happen again. So I think about it and try to alleviate situations that put me in that situation again. I never get into fights with anyone because that is a good way to wind up shot.

There have been countless people shot in America because they got into an argument with someone, so I am very nice to people because you never know who has a gun and I don’t want to put myself at risk.

I don’t think about the future that much because then I get anxious and my blood pressure goes up. I sometimes think of future bills and this just makes me work harder to cover them.

If you think of the present and don’t lose track of it, you should be fine. Think about it, the past can be painful, and depressing so you shouldn’t go there. The future hasn’t happened yet, so it is best to stick to the present and focus on right now and prepare for the future to happen, that is the best thing. Thank you for reading.

The greatest gift 🥳🎁

I think the greatest gift would be spending time with me because once time is gone you can’t get it back. So, just to spend time with me and validate my existence and the feelings I have for this world. Thank you for reading.

Maybe we can sit together and watch a full moon.

Colleges that I attended-

I went to Pima Community college and received an Associate Degree in Social services. After spending seven years trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my college education.

Then, I went to Arizona State University the school of Social Work  in Tucson and received my Bachelor’s degree in Social work. I also have another degree in Social Work, but it doesn’t matter. I also attended University of Arizona and just took classes there to get the degree in Social work. It was a great experience, meeting people and learning the field of social work. All these colleges and universities were in Tucson AZ. Thank you for reading.

Playing is part of my life.

Yes I do incorporate play into my daily life. I play drums everyday very quietly because I live in an apartment, but playing drums is very important to me because of all my anger and pent up frustration that I feel because of the disability I have. Well, since I don’t take out frustrations on anyone, I take them out on my drum set. I sing and write lyrics too, but the drums are my main thing ,when it comes to play. Thank you for reading. Darcy my drum set is a good girl 😆.

Challenges that are hard to deal with.

My biggest challenge is being disabled after being shot in the head. This challenge will follow me for my whole life. Using my non-dominant arm for everything is hard. I am afraid my right arm will give out one of these days because I use it for everything. My dominant left arm is paralyzed and my left leg is gimpy. Thank goodness I can walk, which is a plus.

Getting the cousin who shot me in the head to take responsibility for what he did is hard too because he is a coward. He is in hiding and my family protects him, which is crazy. They should want us to resolve the issues we have, so we can all go on living, but they never tell me where he is. I am growing angry at my family for this because they could’ve at least put him in jail or made him pay me money, but they didn’t do anything and they just left me to survive on my own, which I think he should at least help me, but he doesn’t do anything. Here it is 37 years since the injury took place and still nothing. My family forgot about me. No happy new Years, nothing. So sad, but true. It is true, I need closure. So to everyone who is reading this Happy New Year and I hope this New Year is great for everyone. Thank you for reading.

I may be mad, but good food is necessary on New Years.

Thinking of nostalgic times.

I always wish for the past, especially when I was 13 years old, before the injury I sustained, being shot in the head. I miss using my left arm and walking physically abled. I wish I never went down to the river with the cousin. On January 1st New Years, it will be the anniversary of the injury because it happened on New Years of 1988, a long time ago. Yes, it happened 37 years ago and I still deal with the anger and the bitterness of the injury and the disability. My family just shoves it under the rug like it didn’t happen because they are in denial of the whole thing. As long as I’m breathing they are not going to make any effort to do what they should have done a long time ago, which was to hold the cousin accountable for what he did to me. It is too late for him to go to jail, because of the statute of limitations, but he can still pay me for my suffering. Yet, he is in hiding because he knows he has done wrong and doesn’t want to pay me a dime; even though I live with this injury. I walk with a gimp, my left arm doesn’t work. Everyone covers for him and they keep us apart, which I think is bologna. They should tell me where he is so I can confront him, but they don’t. They are afraid that I may go off on him. When all I want is compensation for an injury that is his fault. I did not shoot myself, like he told everyone when I was in a coma. That is bull shit. I am at a loss ,hopefully this year will be better than last year.

Hearing Led Zeppelin’s “When the levee Breaks, ” brings me back to a time when, I was in my old room playing drums to the song above. Just hearing the drummer, John Bonham play his drums, takes me back to the time I would listen to the songs inside my old room, when I was 12 or 13 years old. Music can be very nostalgic. Happy New Year to everyone and I hope you have a great year, thank you for reading.

Down that shadowy path is where I received the bullet in the head. This is Ariavipa Arizona.

Relationships are powerful

Everyone has had a relationship with someone or something. See, relationships come and go the most important part is what you learn from them and if they’re good relationships the person or thing won’t fade away.

Such as my relationship with my drum set Darcy. She is fantastic. She has helped me tremendously because of all the aggression I can get out on her, just by hitting her with a drum stick. Once I am done, I am relaxed.

Then my sister, she is awesome, our relationship is more of a friendship because we do a lot of things together, such as watching movies, eating, working, reading together so it is a lot of fun to hang out with her.

Then, my friends like Tara, Julie, Engel, they are cool because I can talk to them about anything on my mind and they will not judge me, so it is cool to be friends with them.

My relationship with coffee and salad and apples is also strong and, also water. They get me through tough times in life. When I need to be lifted up from tiredness, they are there to lift me up. I don’t know what I would do without them.

My relationship with God the Almighty is very strong. I pray to him constantly throughout the day that he keeps my sister and I safe and in his blessings. He has never let me down and I will always pray to him for strength.

Lastly my bed,  the relationship goes back a long time ago. My bed is there for me to lay my head on and sleep for hours. Ever since, I have been disabled I have always liked to sleep. Unless, I get a good coffee high, then who knows what I will do. I will probably stay up and sleep later. Thank you for reading.

I am at a loss politically!

In college I was very liberal because liberals help the poor people, so I thought. I did not have a lot of money so I could not vote Republican, so I thought. So I supported Obama and Clintons for the office of presidency. I liked Clintons and Obama. They spoke so elegantly. Where President Bush failed to bring the bombers of 9/11 (Osama Bin Loden and others) to justice, Obama killed Osama Bin Loden. It was under Obama’s watch that we were able to eliminate most of the terrorists in our country. So back then it was good to be liberal. I felt safer with Obama, then with Bush because Bush went after Iraq, who had nothing to do with 9/11. Thank heavens there wasn’t another attack on our country.

Then, during Biden’s term of office, inflation went through the roof. Everything got more expensive, housing, gas, groceries, cell phones, insurance, utilities, everything went up and it is still like that. So as time went on, I felt like the Democrats or liberals don’t care about the poor because everything is way too expensive.

See democrats care more about the environment than the Republicans. Liberals are all for electric vehicles, where Republicans are about gas vehicles. Not saying, Republicans don’t care about the environment but liberals care a little more about it. So liberals don’t like to drill for oil because it ruins the environment. Whereas, Republicans will drill for oil, which means if my predictions are correct. If gas prices go down, maybe everything else will go down, just a prediction. I am just saying, it is just a prediction, hopefully I am right because this inflation is killing me.

In conclusion- I have become more conservative because of the inflation. One day, I was searching for places to live and they were like $700 -$800. The next time I looked, they were like a thousand dollars or more, which is insane. I know people from California came in and bought up a lot of properties in Tucson and raised the rents, but there has to be something politically that can be done. It is just too much. I am sure you guys and gals are feeling it too. Hopefully, Trump can do something about the inflation in this country and we can all be a little happier then. Thank you for reading.

My perfect space to read and write.

Many people have an ideal space to read and write. Mine is a simple table with books around me and a writing pad of paper with a pen, to jot down ideas that come to me for lyrics.

I also use my smartphone for writing because it can fit in my hand and is more mobile than a computer. One day, I would like to get a laptop, but the smartphone works fine. It is a Google 6 smartphone and it does all I need to write on Jetpack and make emails. It is quite the tool. Thank you for reading.